Hala! May Surveillance ang Empress!

14 01 2009

Simula noong Lunes, minamatyag ang bawat galaw ni Empress Maruja sa Internet. Paano naman kasi, may bagong pakulo sa aking workplace. Nilagyan ang mga computer ng account namin ng monitoring software. Ibig sabihin, lahat ng lalabas sa office computer ni Empress Maruja ay masasaylalu hindi lamang ng opisina kundi pati na rin ng aming kliyenteng nag-request na i-monitor kami gamit ang nasabing program.

Hindi biro ang program na ininstall. Ayon sa aking research, hindi lamang ang mga website na pinuntahan namin ang mababasa ng ibang tauhan, pati na rin kung sino ang ka-chat kets, kung anek ang isuspluk ng mismong ka-chat mo, kung anek ang lumalabas sa monitor mo, at (heto ang brutal) kung anek ang tinatype mo. Yes, ultimo passwords.

Naloka ang lola mo nang mabasa ang features ng anak tokwang monitoring software na ‘yun. Bigla kong sinara ang mga e-mail ko, pinagko-close ang mga ka-chat, at kung kailan pa naman ako magba-blog nabulilyaso pa. Hmp!

Kaya heto, every Saturday kayod-marina ang lola niyo sa pag-post ng mga dapat i-post sa linggong nakalipas. Good luck talaga sa brain cells, Mare!





Cargo

12 01 2009

This is a meme! Alert! Alert! This is a meme!

Put your player on shuffle and hit the ‘Next’ button to get your answer to every question. You must indicate the title and artist, no matter how far-fetched it sounds. Tag people who might be interested in doing this same thing. No cheating.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“Baccarah” by Delta Queens

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“Edge Hill” by Groove Armada

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“Destiny” by Zero 7

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Thrown into the Fire” by +/-

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Motion” by Paul Oakenfold

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Shake Your Pants” by Cambio

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“a Cause des Garcons (Because of Boys)” by Yelle

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Question Existing” by Rihanna

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Dreams” by Gabrielle

WHAT SONG WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Outro Lado” by Zuco 103

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Avalon (Fuck Me I’m Famous Remix by David Guetta and Joachim Garraud)” by Juliet

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Incredible (Radio Edit)” by Shapeshifters

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Play Your Part” by Deborah Cox

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“Better in Time” by Leona Lewis

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
“Feeling Good” by Yuki

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
“Janine 3” by Camille

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
“Sweeter Love” by Blue Six

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
“Great DJ” by The Ting Tings

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
“Like That” by Black Eyed Peas feat. Cee-Lo, John Legend, Talib Kweli, and Q-Tip

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
“Line Drawings” by Sandwich

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
“The One” by Kylie Minogue

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
“Enemy” by Drip (can’t find a link)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“Cargo (TEPR and Grand Marnier Remix)” by Quentin Mosimann

**********

How will your music player respond to the questions?





Sosyal ba Kamo?

11 01 2009

Kapag sinasabing TriNoma, ang karaniwang maririnig natin sa mga paved sidewalks of Alabeng at al fresco cafes ng Makhedi na sa wakas, nagkaroon ng kasusyalan ang North of Manila. Kahit sa mga Internet forum may mga masasaylalu kang mga comment na kesyo “mas sosyal” ang TriNowwwmuh kumpara sa iskwalalung mall sa tapat nitets.

Ang sagot ko lang diyan: Wiz pa kayo nakakapunta ng TriNowwwmuh ng Linggo.

Kanina lang, pagkalafang ko ng Vietnamese Vermicelli Bowl sa Pho Hoa, kyosoke akets sa loob ng TriNowwwmuh. Pagkyosok pa lang sa entrance ay may narinig na akets ng tilian galore, kyokbohan ang mga jutaw. May sunog ba, gusto kong itanong.

Sinundan ko kung saan nagkyokyokbuhan ang mga utaw at naririnig ko ang malakas na boses ng isang host. Sigaw siya nang sigaw, “Magsiupo kayo! Magsiupo kayo! Kung ayaw niyong umupo, humiga kayo!”

Dagdag niya, “Talaga namang dumagsa dito ang ating mga Kapamilya para lamang makapiling ang mga bida ng Love Me Again na sina Piolo Pascual at Angel Locsin!”

So hayun pala ang dahilang ng commotion. Punung-puno ng tao ang pinagdadausan ng mall tour. Bawat balkonahe’y tatlong-tao ang kapal ng crowd. Nagsilabasan ang mga cellphone at digicam para lamang makunan ang kanilang mga idolo.

Ang iba namang hindi makakuha ng magandang view ay sumasampa sa escalator at tinitignan ang naka-PINK na si Piolo at naka-BLUE na si Angel na nagpapapiktyur sa piling-piling mga fans (TFC subscribers siguro). Pag-akyat ng mga mokong sa itaas na palapag ay iikot para bumaba ng escalator.

Ngayon, sabihin niyo sa akin: Sosyal ba kamo ang TriNoma?

Kinuwento ko sa aking sister ang nangyaring kaguluhan at heto lang ang kanyang nasabi.

“Ano ba nasa likod ng TriNoma?”





Royal Tigresses Unite!

10 01 2009

If you studied in University of Santo Tomas during the late 90’s and early 2000’s you may have heard about The Royal Tigress, an underground association of gay students. These amigas would gather in campus and talk about any topic and play mini-beauty pageants in Colayco Park at nighttime. One thing lead to another until they decided to organize a full-scale beauty pageant featuring gay Thomasian students.

Almost every college was represented in the first (and last) search for the Royal Tigress, from Arts and Letters to Education, from CFAD to Graduate School. Eighteen beautiful ladies of the night were presented in a secluded location near UST and were watched by about 200 people. Marco, a senior AB Economics student, was crowned as the Royal Tigress.

The pageant was a personal success for all of us, but as the years passed and members began to graduate the legacy of the Royal Tigress seem to have faded, until now.

The fabulous stylist and fellow Thomasian Lotho Lotho revives the Royal Tigress as she displays her beauty and strength into the Internet age! The Royal Tigress online group welcomes all gay Thomasian students and alumni. The group aims to provide camaraderie and unity among the gay Thomasians as they share common interests. To join, simply register at USTe.tv and add “The Royal Tigress” in the Groups section. If you have Thomasian gay friends, tell them that their company is very much welcome in our group.

Be fierce and strong. You are a Royal Tigress!

(Image courtesy of FoxLoft.com)





Empress Balita: Tabloid Kaloka #1

5 01 2009

Kaloka talagang magbasa ng tabloid! Bukod sa nakakatanggap ka ng pinakasariwang manufactured na tsismis mula sa mga pinakatsipanggang bayarang writers, lumalawak talaga ang iyong knowledge about how our third-world showbizlandia works.

Kaya keto ang bagong segment ng Empress Balita, ang Tabloid Kaloka na naglalaman ng mga nakakaaliw na sidelights hatid sa inyo ng ating D-listed celebs. Hawak ni Empress Maruja ngayon ang Enero 5-6 issue ng Pinoy Parazzi, ang hottest tabloid this side of town, at narito ang mga ginintuang aral ng showbiz.

“Kung manlalait ka rin lang, sabayan mo ng promote!”

Mainit ang butsi ng former Mister Gay Philippines na si Robby Tarroza na narinig niyang kachuvahan ni Mo Twister na kesyo misleading ang kanyang ad campaign para sa Glutamax kung saan image model (of all people) ang komedyanang si Jinky “Bale” Oda.

(Image courtesy of Pep.ph)

O devah? Parang nagsasabing “Habang may Glutamax, may pag-asa?”

Read the rest of this entry »





Babae, Lumaban Ka!

4 01 2009

Babae, lumaban ka
Babae, magsalita ka
Babae, may karapatan ka
Babae, dapat galangin ka
At hindi sasaktan o kukutyain
Babae, hindi ka parang isang
Tropeo na pilit ipinagmamalaki
At inaangkin.

Babae, tao ka rin hindi dapat
Sunud-sunuran na parang robot
Na binabasahan at inaalipusta
Babae, dapat kang mahalin
Babae ka… May Puso…
Isip… nagmamahal at
Nasasaktan ang damdamin

In fairness, lumaban siya.





Empress Balita: Yaya Patani, ligwak kay Yaya Marife!

3 01 2009

Akalain mo? May tatalo pala kay Patani Daño pagdating sa exfosyur bilang yaya! Mga mare, bigyan natin ng isang masigabong plak-plak palakpak kay Marife Necesito sa kanyang major international movie role bilang Yaya Gloria sa pelikulang Mammoth directed by Lukas Moodysson (Fucking Åmål, Lilja 4-ever). Biruin niyo, malaki ang involvement ni Yaya Gloria sa kuwento ng istorya, at hindi ito ‘yung Pinay na tipong palamurang Pingpong sa Kepyas Queen na nasaylalu natin sa Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert.

Kaloka devah? Kasama niya sina Gael García Bernal at Michelle Williams sa cast!

At isa pang nakakalokang fact na nalaman ko kay Tita Marife: Novaliches Girl din pala siya! Talaga naman “Go Nova!” Free Novaliches, charot!

Sa kanyang interview sa Philippine Daily Inquirer, sinabi ni Marife na madugo ang labanan para sa role ng Yaya Gloria with matching dalawang oras na iyakan galore ang inabot niya kada audition. Binulgar naman ng ABS-CBN.com na niligwak ni Marife ang beauty nina Alessandra de Rossi, Chinchin Gutierrez, Joyce Jimenez, at Pinky Amador.

Kasama ang Mammoth sa Berlin Film Festival 2009 at hopefully, let’s hope for the best at maging bonggang bongga ang magiging reception nitets.