I’m still struggling about my weight, especially when certain officemates would marvel at the sight of my waist poking out of my medium-sized shirt.
And while I’m having a hard time looking for the right dance class, I decided to take on a diet.
I tried different paths to that ultimate thinness. I first tried the Five-Factor Diet, where I am supposed to eat a meal every three to four hours. This is supposed to keep the metabolism going and eventually would burn fat.
I would leave my workstation at ungodly hours like 4 a.m. or go to the kitchen at 1 p.m. to take a meal. I would take snacks or meals, depending on how my stomach felt, and realized days later that I gained 3 pounds in 3 days.
Obviously it didn’t work.
I then tried the green tea diet. I opted not to drink sodas and bought bottles upon bottles of green tea instead and consumed it like tap water. It kinda worked, but I only have one problem: I tend to end up leaving my workstation every 15 minutes and take a bathroom break.
I’m still into the green tea diet, but I needed something that would accelerate the slimming process. So I followed one advice I saw on the Net: Eating one cracker every hour. The diet claims that you can lose as much as 3 kilos in two weeks, but my stomach would cramp like crazy. My tummy seemed to be starving all the time.
And what would you do if you feel starving? You eat, of course. Lots.
I know, you would tell me to consume more veggies. You see, salads are expensive, the cafeteria serves nothing but pork, and eating too much greens causes stomach gas. You don’t want me to become a fart machine and contribute to global warming.
I think I would have to try any means to be the stick-figure that I was back when I was a child, well maybe except for not eating or puking what I ate. That’s just ugly.