Kapag Puso’t Kapalaran ang Magdikta…Charot!

NaKIKIbahagi ako sa isang malaking proyekto ng mga baklang blogger sa Pilipinas na pasimuno ni Kiks at Mandaya Moore. Tanong nila: Ano ba ang moda ng relasyong (lalake sa lalake) sa ngayon? Ano ba talaga ang gusto nating maganap sa ating mga relasyon?

Huwell, hindi ako eksperto sa usapang relasyon. Kung tutuusin, ako na lang sa family ang officially singgel. May asawa si Koya, may boyfriend si sisterette, at recently may first girlfriend na ang bunso.

Eh ako? Kahit na nakailan-daang hada, tsupa, dinakmaan sa suso’t mangilan-ngilang oring, never as in never akong nagkajuwa.

Pero hindi ibig sabihin na never as in never akong nainlababo.

Kung makyugal ka nang nagbabasa ng blog kets (even way back Blogger days), medyo may idea na kayo kahit papaano. Pero sa mga wa knows, heto ang breather:

Noong unang taon ko sa kolehiyo…

Oh my, ang hirap nang ikuwento…

Basta ganito…I met someone whom I like and I tried to suppress my feelings for him…thinking of several reasons like because he’s married and has children and all that. We became good friends, really good friends, but it took four years for me to realize that, shit…he loves me.

I didn’t know what to do then. I was probably overflown with emotions to the point that it embarrassed him, and he embarrassed me in the process. He tried to be apologetic about it, but for me once the damage is done, it’s done.

But I still love him, yet I didn’t speak to him until his Baccalaureate Mass.

Sooooobrang bihira na kaming magkita after his graduation, and in between those times I really tried to move on. Not easy.

The last time I’ve heard of him, he’s some big shot (insert occupation here) at some big shot (insert industry here), while I’m a lowly bold star.

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Tao rin kami, may puso. Nagmamahal. Kaya lang kapag magmahal kami, andaming nadadamay: moralidad, lipunan, Simbahan, seksuwalidad, asawa’t mga anak (kung mayroon).

Sana umabot tayo sa panahong napakadali lang sabihin ang mga katagang “Mahal Kita” kung bakla ka–o lalakeng nabighani sa kariktan ng isang bakla.

Pero sa ngayon, aasa na lang ako sa panahon na iyon na darating ang lalakeng para sa akin at sa akin lang.

Kaya lang kapag nagbalik “siya”, sino ba naman akong tanggihan siya?

May puso ako, nagmamahal.

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You can also visit the following participants of this Gay Blogging Project:

* Kiks - Dreams

* Mandaya Moore-Orlis – Chasing Pavements

* Kalansay Collector – Ano ba ang mukha ng relasyon sa taong hindi pa nagkakarelasyon?

* Jase - Being Together, Being Free

* Reyna Elena – The big, fat, ugly white woman who is soooo miserable in life

* Jericho – On Gay Relationships

* Bananachoked – My take on gay relationship (and my lack of it)

* Gibo - Of Miles and Men (Part 1)

* The Charmed One – An Open Secret

* Goddess of the Himalayas – Maalaala Mo Kaya

* Bryan Miseducated – I will be waiting at the center of the soccer field at Burnham park from 5 pm Saturday until 5 pm on Sunday

* Mrs. J – Kapwa Ko Mahal Ko

* Pat - Meander

* Ruff Nurse-Du-Jour – You Think You’re A Man

* Zen Bitch – I am changing

*  John Halcyon von Rothschild – Real Love

Sa mga sumali sa project pero wa sa list, magparamdam kayo noh?