Kapag Puso’t Kapalaran ang Magdikta…Charot!

22 01 2008

NaKIKIbahagi ako sa isang malaking proyekto ng mga baklang blogger sa Pilipinas na pasimuno ni Kiks at Mandaya Moore. Tanong nila: Ano ba ang moda ng relasyong (lalake sa lalake) sa ngayon? Ano ba talaga ang gusto nating maganap sa ating mga relasyon?

Huwell, hindi ako eksperto sa usapang relasyon. Kung tutuusin, ako na lang sa family ang officially singgel. May asawa si Koya, may boyfriend si sisterette, at recently may first girlfriend na ang bunso.

Eh ako? Kahit na nakailan-daang hada, tsupa, dinakmaan sa suso’t mangilan-ngilang oring, never as in never akong nagkajuwa.

Pero hindi ibig sabihin na never as in never akong nainlababo.

Kung makyugal ka nang nagbabasa ng blog kets (even way back Blogger days), medyo may idea na kayo kahit papaano. Pero sa mga wa knows, heto ang breather:

Noong unang taon ko sa kolehiyo…

Oh my, ang hirap nang ikuwento…

Basta ganito…I met someone whom I like and I tried to suppress my feelings for him…thinking of several reasons like because he’s married and has children and all that. We became good friends, really good friends, but it took four years for me to realize that, shit…he loves me.

I didn’t know what to do then. I was probably overflown with emotions to the point that it embarrassed him, and he embarrassed me in the process. He tried to be apologetic about it, but for me once the damage is done, it’s done.

But I still love him, yet I didn’t speak to him until his Baccalaureate Mass.

Sooooobrang bihira na kaming magkita after his graduation, and in between those times I really tried to move on. Not easy.

The last time I’ve heard of him, he’s some big shot (insert occupation here) at some big shot (insert industry here), while I’m a lowly bold star.

**********

Tao rin kami, may puso. Nagmamahal. Kaya lang kapag magmahal kami, andaming nadadamay: moralidad, lipunan, Simbahan, seksuwalidad, asawa’t mga anak (kung mayroon).

Sana umabot tayo sa panahong napakadali lang sabihin ang mga katagang “Mahal Kita” kung bakla ka–o lalakeng nabighani sa kariktan ng isang bakla.

Pero sa ngayon, aasa na lang ako sa panahon na iyon na darating ang lalakeng para sa akin at sa akin lang.

Kaya lang kapag nagbalik “siya”, sino ba naman akong tanggihan siya?

May puso ako, nagmamahal.

**********

You can also visit the following participants of this Gay Blogging Project:

* Kiks - Dreams

* Mandaya Moore-OrlisChasing Pavements

* Kalansay CollectorAno ba ang mukha ng relasyon sa taong hindi pa nagkakarelasyon?

* Jase - Being Together, Being Free

* Reyna ElenaThe big, fat, ugly white woman who is soooo miserable in life

* JerichoOn Gay Relationships

* BananachokedMy take on gay relationship (and my lack of it)

* Gibo - Of Miles and Men (Part 1)

* The Charmed OneAn Open Secret

* Goddess of the HimalayasMaalaala Mo Kaya

* Bryan MiseducatedI will be waiting at the center of the soccer field at Burnham park from 5 pm Saturday until 5 pm on Sunday

* Mrs. JKapwa Ko Mahal Ko

* Pat - Meander

* Ruff Nurse-Du-JourYou Think You’re A Man

* Zen BitchI am changing

John Halcyon von RothschildReal Love

Sa mga sumali sa project pero wa sa list, magparamdam kayo noh?


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16 responses

22 01 2008
Treasured entries that gained me popularity or notoriety

[...] he’s got a different charm that cuts across amongst the “we are family”. 7. Empress Maruja, because she’s very talented. To gain some top rankings on her own is something that one [...]

22 01 2008
The big fat, ugly, old white woman who is soooo miserable in life

[...] beauty, love & fertilityMaalaala Mo Kaya 13. Gibe Of Miles and Men Part 1 14. Empress Maruja Kapag Puso’t Kapalaran ang Magdikta…Charot! 15. Zen Bitch I am Changing internet [...]

22 01 2008
goddess

naalala ko pa ang mga love stories mo tiya maruja..! hay.. calachuchi!!!

22 01 2008
patrick

first year sa kolehiyo… so young yet so lande.

22 01 2008
kirsten08

i love it! :-)

22 01 2008
mandayamoore

napakasimple yet sagad sa puso

22 01 2008
jase

wag kang mag-alala princess, malapit na!

22 01 2008
Homie

Pangatlong blog ko na itong napuntahan na pulos unrequited emotions ang topic… I appreciate the commonality of our sentiments pero sabi nga ni Mandaya – “sagad sa puso”. Pre-Valentine’s Day symptoms (parang PMS).. c”,) Regards…

22 01 2008
Kiks

ngayon naiintindihan ko na ang isyung straight-gay na chuva.

sadyang mahirap nga lang. anez?

22 01 2008
empressmaruja

@ goddess – Kalurka ka, naalaala ko tuloy ang calachuchi.

@ patrick – Mare, lahat tayo dumaan sa pagdadalaga.

@ kirsten08 – Thanks a lot!

@ Mandaya Moore-Orlis – Actually, dapat pinapalakpakan ang entry mo.

@ Jase – Magdilang-anghel ka kaya, Mare?

@ Homie – Thanks for the kind words!

@ Kiks – Day, kung alam mo lang…

23 01 2008
reyna elena

Tao rin kami, may puso. Nagmamahal. Kaya lang kapag magmahal kami, andaming nadadamay: moralidad, lipunan, Simbahan, seksuwalidad, asawa’t mga anak (kung mayroon). <— I love this part that you said, damn it you’re so darn right. There’s always sumbody na masasagasaan everytime we feel in love. Punyemas ever! Nasaan ba ang freedom?!

Wala bang mag-i-isponsor nang single’s party?! Hehehe!!!

23 01 2008
giboink

“… but it took four years for me to realize that, shit…he loves me.”

damn. at least may realisation on his part. sa maraming pagkakataon (at least sa akin), walang realisation at all!

23 01 2008
ambo

minsan lang ako napadaan dito pero humagalpak ako sa title ng poster na yan hahaha. hmmm mapapadaan na ako dito lagi promise!

28 01 2008
Rachel

I share the same views and as such a few of my articles are of the same issue. Just read this project of yours today. I am sharing mine. Click on my link.

1 03 2008
You did NOT just google him! « They Call Me Maruja: A Colorful Life at Random

[...] ko ba, everything about me is laughable except for my love life.   Kumbaga, lahat ng mga payaso marunong din umiyak paminsan-minsan.  At ngayon, kahit na gumawa [...]

17 09 2009
Treasured entries that gained me popularity or notoriety | reyna elena dot com

[...] he’s got a different charm that cuts across amongst the “we are family”. 7. Empress Maruja, because she’s very talented. To gain some top rankings on her own is something that one [...]

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