I am supposed to write about something else. Today should be my part 2 of “Boyfriend? What Boyfriend?” post, where I am supposed to tell you about finally (after six years) how I’ve gotten over my first love in just one instant. I woke up one day and felt “different” about a guy I recently met, and–again–it’s not my fubu by the way.
I am supposed to tell you how I got over a complicated affair, only to dive myself into a more complicated setting. That I have used to the idea of not telling guys that I really like how I feel about them, aware of the fact that doing so would ruin friendships. That because I am aware that I would be on a “losing” end of this part of my mini-battle, I voluntarily surrendered, gave up my feelings towards the guy, opted for friendship, and get over him just like that *snap*.
But suddenly, just this morning, the gay gods (fine, God) had something on the sleeve.
My mornings have almost become routinary. I leave my night work at around 6:30 a.m., catch the railway ride to a local mall, take a cup of hot soy curd (taho) on the way to the jeepney terminal, ride a jeepney to home, change clothes, and sleep.
I got out of the railway and was thinking of not taking taho for the morning, but my mind was telling me to have some anyway. Oh what the heck, I’ll take it.
I rummaged through my coins as the taho guy served a small cup to a guy wearing a black jacket beside me. I opted for the big cup. And while I was about to have a sip of my syrup-laced, sago-topped soy curd, I was suddenly punched on my right shoulder.
I was so ready to cuss out and retaliate. I looked to my right, and it was the guy wearing a black jacket. It was him.
Yes, him. The guy whom I haven’t seen in six years.
MUSICAL INTERMISSION: “Lonely In Gorgeous” by Tommy february6
Oh. My. God!
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my gulay!
He was smiling at me, probably more excited to see me. He had become more good-looking than before. I, meanwhile, almost spilled my taho trying my best not to act girly (he hates that).
How did I feel? Shocked of course. Shocked, but happy.
We exchanged pleasantries and tried to catch up on everything. He was on his way to meet up a friend of his to participate in a local Santo Nino feast.
We basically lived parallel lives: we both tried out our dreams (him to become a policeman, me to become a full-time TV practitoner), but ended up taking different careers (plus the fact that we both work at night).
He kept on teasing me on how huge I have become since college, accusing me of becoming a drunkard. I told him that I only got eaten one plateful too many.
I described how my work goes in my 5-month old career as a web writer. He asked if there are gays in my workplace (like there are hundreds in his company), I said that most of my officemates are male. He wanted me to introduce him to my female colleagues and I teased him that he’s acting as if he’s still single. You know what he said? “In life, you take the good things with you and leave the bad things behind you.” Now that’s a neat way of saying you’re separated.
There were so many things that we talked about as I walked with him towards his jeepney terminal (and it was like 200 meters away from my terminal). As he was about to ride the jeep, we waved goodbye and I left.
The reaction hadn’t sunk in yet as it happened. I tried to downplay my excitement of seeing him because I don’t wanna emabarrass him, and at the same time I want to show him that I no longer act too girly unlike back in college.
While riding back home, I still playback in my mind when he offered me to work in his company. You could say he probably wanted to see me more often, or perhaps he merely wanted the referral fee. I said that I’d be thinking about it, but I’m already happy (so far) with my current work.
Our meeting is perhaps a beginning of a new chapter between us, but for me it is on a borderline between that…
Don’t get me wrong. He still has a significant place in my heart, but if you ask me to choose whether to love him or to befriend him, I would choose the latter. I think it’s for the best of us, as friends.
Friends who f*ck? Why not?
ONE LONG NOTE: Before sleeping, I texted to his company phone that I was very glad to see him (and also to give out my digits to him). I woke up 8 hours later to check my phone. He didn’t reply.